A couple of years ago I wrote about Brenda Bosch’s survey project to determine what missionaries felt were their top stressors. These are the twelve that head her list. I’ve come up with a list of questions you can use to help you interact with your missionary friends in a profoundly meaningful way.

Stressor #1:  Financial Pressure

Question #1: How is your support level these days?

Bonus questions:

• Do you have any specific needs that I can help supply?
• Could you use my help in raising additional support?

Stressor #2: Overwork

Question #2: Did you take a sabbath rest this week?

Bonus questions:

• When is the last time you and your family took a few days off?
• If I were to arrange for the finances, where could I send you for a vacation?

Stressor #3: Language barriers

Question #3: How is language study coming along?

Bonus questions:

• Is there a particular biblical concept that you need to learn how to communicate that I can pray about?
• What do you still need in order to be able to communicate on a heart level?

Stressor #4: Maintaining spiritual disciplines

Question #4: Have you been able to spend meaningful time in the Word this week?

Bonus questions:

• Do you read the Bible mostly for information, or for the pleasure of connecting with the Father?
• Are your prayers mostly intercession, or do you practice “listening prayer”?

Stressor #5: Cultural stress

Question #5: What about your host culture is the most difficult for you to cope with?

Bonus questions:

• What do you think God wants you to learn from your host culture?
• What would you appreciate receiving from home that would help take the edge off your culture stress?

Stressor #6: Being under-staffed

Question #6: What specifically can I ask God to supply for your staffing needs?

Bonus questions:

• Is there anything I could come do on a short-term basis?
• Could you use some tools or advice that would help you manage your limited resources more effectively?

Stressor #7: Feeling inadequate

Question #7: In what ways do you feel like you’re in over your head, that I can be  praying about?

Bonus questions:

• What would you need in order to be more effective in your work?
• How has God been your sufficiency during these times?

Stressor #8: Conflict with co-workers

Question #8: How are you getting along with your co-workers?

Bonus questions:

• How can I pray that God will change you in relating to your co-workers?
• What do you think God is wanting to teach you through these difficulties?

Stressor #9: Concerns about aging parents

Question #9:  How is your mom/dad doing these days?

Bonus questions:

• Do you have siblings that help care for your parents?
• Is there anything I can do for your folks?

Stressor #10:  Needs of children

Question #10:  How are your kids doing these days?

Bonus questions:

• Do you need any educational materials that I could send?
• Could I help arrange a Skype session between your kids and their grandparents?

Stressor #11:  Leadership styles

Question #11:  How are things between you and your leadership these days?

Bonus questions:

• What part of your character do you think God might be working on?
• What aspects of their leadership style could you learn from and adopt?

Stressor #12:  Loneliness

Question #12: How has God been reminding you of his presence lately?

Bonus questions:

• What helps you to feel connected to the rest of us?
• When can we arrange for your advocate team to connect on Skype?

These are by no means all of the stresses that missionaries face. And they are not necessarily ranked in any way. Don’t expect your missionary friends to bring these things up. They’ve got 10,000 other things to deal with on top of their communications. (OK, that may be an exageration. They probably have more like a million other things to do.) The point is that you need to start the conversation. You will bless them in unimaginable ways by showing such a deep interest in their personal well-being.